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Let’s start with this…I don’t have one. Or at least, not a relationship.  I just like to eat.  I also happen to like the bad kinds of food.  Nothing is better than reaching into the fast food bag and finding the orphan fries the McWorkers spilled into the bottom when you think it’s all gone.  If I did have a relationship with food, it would be the same as having a relationship with a stripper.  It’s fun at the time, but at the end of the day it’s going to make you feel stupid, broke, and full of regret. 

When I was trying to get my mind right in the days leading up to making the decision to get started (which was the hardest part of this entire process…but more on that later), I did some reading about eating disorders.  I came to the conclusion that for the most part, it’s people trying to make excuses for being fat.  I know that sounds so cold and I am sure that some people truly have these issues, but I don’t think most people do and I am sure I didn’t. 

I thought about a support group for weight loss, but I just couldn’t do it.  I pictured myself sitting in a church basement with a Birkenstock-clad, tree-hugging druid wearing a Mama Cass dress to hide her own failed weight loss progress, asking me for my feelings about food.  I would have to restrain myself from going Shaq-fu on her ass and choking her out MMA style.  I didn’t think my substantial powers of discipline could have prevented me from at the very least going off on her.  I would just have to look Rainbow Bright in the eyes and tell her, ”Just put the fork down.”  

My relationship with food consists of me liking the flavor of dead red meat cooked caveman style over a flame with some salt on it. I like sweets, I have a very female attraction to dark chocolate…hey, I admitted I drive a soccer mom mini van–I guess I can cop to the chocolate addiction.  I also like fast food and don’t think I’m the only one that likes it. I mean, according to the sign, I am one of billions and billions served. 

The fact is, my problem was that I liked the wrong foods, and I liked to eat a lot of it.  It’s my belief that one of the keys to my weight loss has been that I didn’t go on a diet fad or try to learn to like celery (which I hate).  I decided, it’s okay to not eat 6 tacos.  I can still eat them, but I limit myself to two.  That was one of the biggest keys: portion control, what a great idea.  When I figured out I could still enjoy my life and eat the things I wanted, it became so much easier.  If you have to spend your life avoiding the things you enjoy, what is the point of life?  Like I said, I enjoy food. 

The funny part is, the more weight I lose, the less I have the desire to really pig out.  I don’t know when it happened, but over the last 3 years my lifestyle changed.  I didn’t intend to for that to happen but in the process of going from morbidly obese to “fat bastard” status, my personality changed.  I am…dare I say it?  Health conscious.  I have also become zen with the fact that I WILL get back to my fighting weight.  It’s only a matter of time.

PB

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One Comment

  1. Paul, Wow! Incredible. You already journeyed so far not only with the weight but with the mental fortitude to achieve what you want. Most people go through their whole lives never figuring out how to accomplish those goals. Good for you!


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