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I think everyone has told lies…white lies, big lies, little lies, misdirection, concealment, lies of omission…you name it–everyone at one time or another has done it. 

I heard on the radio recently that men lie approximately 100,000 times by the time they are 60 years old, and women lie about 50,000 times by the same age.  I thought this was an interesting statistic, but then didn’t know if I should believe it because it was reported by a man, which makes the information suspect in the first place. 

I have a friend who seems to be constantly challenging me.  She has an amazing way of being brutally honest–lets you know exactly what she thinks.  The funny part is that she can do this, but never hurts anyone’s feelings when she does.  This is a real gift.  I know other people who can tell you what they think and all you want to do is punch them in the throat–it’s gotta be her Buddhist background or something that allows her to get away with it. 

Recently she challenged me to figure out what I wanted in life.  I narrowed it down to wanting to live an honest life.  I have known many people in the past and the ones I admire the most are the ones that just live honest. 

That being said, I have come to the understanding that in being so overweight, I have been lying to myself.  I lied to myself when I was telling myself that being overweight wasn’t my fault.  I had a “medical” condition that lead to it.  I lied to myself that my clothing was shrinking from being washed in hot water–yeah, that’s why things didn’t fit.  I lied to myself when I said the clothing manufacturers were making the clothing smaller.  I lied when I said I couldn’t do anything about my weight…and the biggest lie was that I wasn’t worth changing. 

Other truths I now embrace:

1)      I am never going to be part of the Rebel Alliance or the A-team;

2)      I am never going to be able to sing in any key that anyone other than Hellen Keller could listen to;

3)      I am never going to be injected, bitten, poisoned, or bestowed with a superhero power or ability;

4)      My fears of flying and bridges may never be completely gone;

5)      I am never going to look good in bike shorts or a speedo–but then again, no guy does;

6)      A career as a jockey is probably not in the cards for me;

7)      Evel Knievel wasn’t really that cool..in fact most agree he was a bit of an asshole;

8)      Holding a baby is kind of a fun thing to do…until they puke or poop on you;

9)      Steve McQueen was cooler than I could ever hope to be;

10)  It takes a big man to cry–and an even bigger man to laugh at himself;

11)  You really can be ashamed of what you do for a Klondike bar;

12)  Paying bills is never fun;

13)  Being considered a hypocrite is one of the biggest insults possible;

14)  Dad was right more times than he was wrong;

15)  Sometimes just sitting and watching a camp fire is the best therapy;

16)  The smaller the dog, the more prone they are to try and bite you;

17)  I am most likely never going to find pirate treasure;

18)  The best smells in the world are BBQ, fresh cut lawn and stripper perfume;

19)  Elvis might have been the King, but Jerry Lee is still the killer;

20)  True friends who are honest with you are few and far between.

Paulie

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